Introspection

Self-assessment through a reflective gaze seems to be a daunting quest,
For to unfold the deepest of realms, in the corridors of memories one must invest,
Acknowledging progress and reliving achievements might feel wondrous to ingest,
While reminiscing failures and identifying defects might be hard to digest.

I have frequently succumbed to the chaotic cataclysm of the last 2 years,
It has been ground-breaking and perception shattering..facing and battling my fears,
It has been emotionally exhausting and mentally daunting..embracing the pain and wiping my tears,
It has been gruelling yet elevating, unlearning everything I was fed by society and discovering myself for real,
It has been exasperating yet forbearing, healing from the wounds of mental and physical ordeals,
It has been burdensome yet empowering, working towards turning my jeers into cheers,
Yet I have questioned everything I did, thought and felt seeking self-consciousness,
For in knowing oneself truly and completely is essential to attain internal consonance.

So my question to you is..do you ever sit down and look back on the year that’s passed by?
Do you reflect on your journey or are you a passer-by in your own life?
Do you see the things holding you back and figure out how to change things, or do you not even try?
Do you remain in a vicious cycle of sitting around whining and complaining, or do you envision battling the strife?
If not, then it’s time to start – just sit down and pick your brain apart,
Self-discovery will give more than money, fame and success can ever impart,
For wisdom and fulfillment comes not with age, but from looking within and learning from life until you depart.


Unapologetic

I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you needed or thought me to be,
I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to everyone’s expectations of me.
I’m sorry I let my past dictate my behavior around you and create several blocks for us,
I’m sorry I was a mess initially, and you had to deal with all the confusion and fuss.
I’m sorry I said and did things as per my convenience,
I’m sorry you were on the receiving end of all my malfeasance.
I’m sorry that you felt that everything was about me, although I tried my best to always be there for you,
I’m sorry that my words were misinterpreted even when all I wanted was to get through to you.
I’m sorry I could never really open up and truly be myself around you,
I’m sorry I always felt that I was too impure for my angelic boo.
I’m sorry I went to great lengths to prove a point to you,
I’m sorry I never realised that my stubborn, ignorant ways had adverse impacts on you.

I’m sorry for making you believe I was an angel though my actions were that of a toxic devil,
I’m sorry that every good thing I did was forgotten because my actions put you in a state of peril.
I’m sorry that I broke your trust and eventually..your heart,
I’m sorry that my plans and behavior always pushed us and kept us apart.
I’m sorry that I never asked what you wanted when things went wrong,
I’m sorry that my realisations and gut feelings were not in your favour..and too strong.
I’m sorry that you feel like you should’ve disconnected from me before,
I’m sorry that after all we went through, bitterness was the only thing left in your core.
I’m sorry that all good things come to an end, but I hope you think this was a good thing,
I’m sorry this is the way it has to be and you can’t be my queen and I can’t be your king,
I’m sorry that everything that reminds you of me will now start to sting,
But I know time will heal everything, and your future has brighter things and better times incoming.

I hope you know that I’m genuinely sorry for many more things than those mentioned above,
And I also hope that someday you can forgive this person that didn’t deserve your love.